halooo semuanyaa. aku udah lama banget ngga update dan share cerita aku yaa..
if then, I'll start now.. one, two, three, four ! !
so.. now is march, right ? should I tell you about this ? hmm.. okay, okay .. wait, let me think... the moment was happened at february.
did you see the tittle ? yes, officially grad. that's me. in fact, I'm not really officially grad. I'm sure your first question after read my statement is : WHY ? or HOW COULD YOU ? yeaahh.. I have heard those question for many many many times ;)
the point is.. I say, it's because my heart.
honestly, my heart has hurt so much (I don't want tell who or how my heart can be hurt and make me take this 'crazy' decision. yes I'm sure people will call me 'crazy' . But I'm not crazy at all *what?* haha just kidding. you don't know what it's like to be like me at that time.
can you imagine you sat on dinning table and people around you judge you, give you many advice and you can't say anything even to defend yourself. you can't say the truth story to against their argument because if you say something, they will be angry. so I just listen what they say -- hurtfully. fortunately, I can hold my tears. yes! I'm strong enough to pretend that I'm okay. in fact, I was not really okay that night. who's care?)
okay, I admit I have made many mistakes. those are my faults-okay. I'm sorry. really sorry.. I don't mean to make you all disappointed or anything. ah.. it's useless.. they will not trust me.
say it, it's all my mistake. okay.. I can accept their judgement. that's okay.. but, why they must talk about my family, and my past, and anything that has no relation about my fault. why ? that's why my heart hurt. really hurt. I know they want the best for me. thankyou so much much and much. actually, they're so kind. but this heart.. has hurt and hurt.. remember a quote says : the words can kill someone. that's true ! after hear the words that hurt me, I think I'll die..... *bang*
I know, maybe they didn't meant to make me hurt. But see the fact and what I feel .. HURT ! why they must compare my family with .....
seriously, I can't accept that words. But, I know, they will not realize what they say.. even say sorry ? it's impossible. what they know is the mistake is mine and they don't have mistakes at all. Okay, it's up to them. ah, there were so many words that hurt me and those make me trauma
after that moment.. I was very trauma. really really trauma. I still remember the all the words when they judge me. So, I can't take my breath.. and then I decided to grad.. I have thinking about this for a long time and this is my decision. thankyou if you can understand me. but if not.. yeah it's up to you.cause myself who passed this...
haiyaa.. just wait and I'll show my best. I'm sorry
I don't know if I could stand on my own. but I must try and believ.
Perhaps only a little time left for me as FDNR member. when I graduate I'll be in your care. I'd be happy if you would like to support me. gomenasai..
if then, I'll start now.. one, two, three, four ! !
so.. now is march, right ? should I tell you about this ? hmm.. okay, okay .. wait, let me think... the moment was happened at february.
did you see the tittle ? yes, officially grad. that's me. in fact, I'm not really officially grad. I'm sure your first question after read my statement is : WHY ? or HOW COULD YOU ? yeaahh.. I have heard those question for many many many times ;)
the point is.. I say, it's because my heart.
honestly, my heart has hurt so much (I don't want tell who or how my heart can be hurt and make me take this 'crazy' decision. yes I'm sure people will call me 'crazy' . But I'm not crazy at all *what?* haha just kidding. you don't know what it's like to be like me at that time.
can you imagine you sat on dinning table and people around you judge you, give you many advice and you can't say anything even to defend yourself. you can't say the truth story to against their argument because if you say something, they will be angry. so I just listen what they say -- hurtfully. fortunately, I can hold my tears. yes! I'm strong enough to pretend that I'm okay. in fact, I was not really okay that night. who's care?)
okay, I admit I have made many mistakes. those are my faults-okay. I'm sorry. really sorry.. I don't mean to make you all disappointed or anything. ah.. it's useless.. they will not trust me.
say it, it's all my mistake. okay.. I can accept their judgement. that's okay.. but, why they must talk about my family, and my past, and anything that has no relation about my fault. why ? that's why my heart hurt. really hurt. I know they want the best for me. thankyou so much much and much. actually, they're so kind. but this heart.. has hurt and hurt.. remember a quote says : the words can kill someone. that's true ! after hear the words that hurt me, I think I'll die..... *bang*
I know, maybe they didn't meant to make me hurt. But see the fact and what I feel .. HURT ! why they must compare my family with .....
seriously, I can't accept that words. But, I know, they will not realize what they say.. even say sorry ? it's impossible. what they know is the mistake is mine and they don't have mistakes at all. Okay, it's up to them. ah, there were so many words that hurt me and those make me trauma
after that moment.. I was very trauma. really really trauma. I still remember the all the words when they judge me. So, I can't take my breath.. and then I decided to grad.. I have thinking about this for a long time and this is my decision. thankyou if you can understand me. but if not.. yeah it's up to you.cause myself who passed this...
haiyaa.. just wait and I'll show my best. I'm sorry
I don't know if I could stand on my own. but I must try and believ.
Perhaps only a little time left for me as FDNR member. when I graduate I'll be in your care. I'd be happy if you would like to support me. gomenasai..
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