*fakesmile*

Semua orang... aku rasa.. pernah melakukan itu (baca: fake smile). ya, senyum palsu. senyum yang bertujuan bukan untuk memperlihatkan kebahagiaan. senyum yang bertujuan untuk menutupi apa yang sebenarnya kita rasakan. terdengar munafik memang, tapi itu memang ada, dan mungkin kita pernah melakukannya baik disadari atau tidak.

Kau tahu? senyum palsu itu lebih menyakitkan daripada  menangis. karena senyum palsu itu menahan perasaan kita untuk menangis. Jika kalian pernah menahan nangis pasti tahu rasanya seperti apa. Sakit bukan, menahan air mata yang akan keluar? Dada akan terasa sesak sekali dan itu sakit.

fake smile itu menyakitkan dan kalau kau tahu.. fake smile itu sebenarnya menunjukkan betapa lemahnya dan rapuhnya diri kita. kau tahu, fake smile itu menyakitkan. tapi aku masih suka menggunakan fake smile di saat aku tidak ingin melihat orang lain sedih karena aku. yah.. banyak sekali cerita tentang fake smile yang pada akhirnya membuat kita menjatuhkan air mata. seperti di drama-drama itu. tapi aku sudah lama juga nggak nonton drama. 

Terima kasih. aku sayang kaliann:)
*jump jump jump!*

:') love is everywhere

ada kecoaa. ada kecoaaa :D

this song is just for you. yaa know this is ! yahaa drop this! heyeeaayeaa heiyeaayeaaa.:) I like this video the best !

watch every second. this is funny ^^ and always make me smile:)

It's hard to say goodbye

I always knew this day would come  
We'd be standing one by one  
With our future in our hands  
So many dreams so many plans


Always knew after all these years  
There'd be laughter there'd be tears  
But never thought that I'd walk away with so much join but so much pain  
And it's so hard to say goodbye

But yesterdays gone we gotta keep moving on 
I'm so thankful for the moments so glad I got to know ya

Another chapter in the book cant go back but you can look  
And there we are on every page   
Memories I'll always save  
Up ahead on the open doors  
Who knows what were heading towards?  
I wish you love I wish you luck For you the world just opens up

 

MILEY CYRUS - I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU LYRICS

classic story

This is . ♪ my first year story . uwohoo uwooho , my angel.. haaa. I'm a girl.. haa. my sunshine ! Oh ! Oh ! Let's go ! -skip that !
Hmm. I just still remember the classic story about a girl ..

When she was in senior  high school.. She likes the boy who sat behind her, exactly. She never thought he will like her. But, who knows ? One day, that boy send her message and she felt so happy. did you know what the message was ? That's just three words : Assalamualaikum, is this 'you' ? -- Okay, not three, but four ah, whatever. After that, day by day, he always send her message either for ask homework or just for easy chat. Nowadays, we called that way is MODUS. At that time, she didn't know what 'modus' it is. And, a month after, finally they're in a relationship.There are many awkward moments as long as they in a relationship because they're in one class. Everyday they meet each other even become one group. I'm not sure they will focus with their lesson. They just focus each other-maybe. Look at their eyes and smiles! Seems they make eye contact that we can't understand. They use their own language. LOL
Their relationship was not long. Ten day after her birthday, that boy send her message. The message is about ( guess what ) yazz. broke up. He want to broke up with no reason and she just accept his decision without any question .
The boy : "Girl, we broke up. thanks for everything. you don't need to reply this message."
The girl  : "hmm. okay." -
THAT'S ALL !!???
After that, she cried..
Even she has broke up with him she still felt the same way before she broke up. She never asked and talk to him about the broke up. That's called a crazy little things about love. Really crazy.

that's all?

I like the best

I just like this best one ! the story so ...

un-officially grad

halooo semuanyaa. aku udah lama banget ngga update dan share cerita aku yaa..
if then, I'll start now..  one, two, three, four ! !
so.. now is march, right ? should I tell you about this ? hmm.. okay, okay .. wait, let me think... the moment was happened at february.

did you see the tittle ? yes, officially grad. that's me. in fact, I'm not really officially grad.   I'm sure your first question after read my statement is : WHY ? or HOW COULD YOU ? yeaahh.. I have heard those question for many many many times ;)
the point is..  I say, it's because my heart.
honestly, my heart has hurt so much (I don't want tell who or how my heart can be hurt and make me take this 'crazy' decision. yes I'm sure people will call me 'crazy' . But I'm not crazy at all *what?* haha just kidding. you don't know what it's like to be like me at that time.
can you imagine you sat on dinning table and people around you judge you, give you many advice and you can't say anything even to defend yourself. you can't say the truth story to against their argument because if you say something, they will be angry. so I just listen what they say -- hurtfully. fortunately, I can hold my tears. yes! I'm strong enough to pretend that I'm okay. in fact, I was not really okay that night. who's care?)
okay, I admit I have made many mistakes. those are my faults-okay. I'm sorry. really sorry.. I don't mean to make you all disappointed or anything. ah.. it's useless.. they will not trust me.
say it, it's all my mistake. okay.. I can accept their judgement. that's okay.. but, why they must talk about my family, and my past, and anything that has no relation about my fault. why ? that's why my heart hurt. really hurt. I know they want the best for me. thankyou so much much and much. actually, they're so kind. but this heart.. has hurt and hurt.. remember a quote says : the words can kill someone. that's true ! after hear the words that hurt me, I think I'll die..... *bang*

I know, maybe they didn't meant to make me hurt. But see the fact and what I feel .. HURT ! why they must compare my family with .....
 seriously, I can't accept that words. But, I know, they will not realize what they say.. even say sorry ? it's impossible. what they know is the mistake is mine and they don't have mistakes at all. Okay, it's up to them. ah, there were so many words that hurt me and those make me trauma

after that moment.. I was very trauma. really really trauma. I still remember the all the words when they judge me. So, I can't take my breath.. and then I decided to grad.. I have thinking about this for a long time and this is my decision. thankyou if you can understand me. but if not.. yeah  it's up to you.cause myself who passed this...


haiyaa.. just wait and I'll show my best. I'm sorry
I don't know if I could stand on my own. but I must try and believ.
Perhaps only a little time left for me as FDNR member. when I graduate I'll be in your care. I'd be happy if you would like to support me. gomenasai..

MY sunshine music

The music and the singers are so great ! I like it . yosobbb